With combination crash dieting, killer workouts, weight loss supplements, compression belts and a LOT of prayer, Dave lost twenty pounds and passed his weigh-in this morning with two inches to spare! So, he is safely employed for at least another six months (barring another government shutdown or the collapse of the entire system, of course). Thank you, Jesus!!!
And thanks to everyone who sent prayers! I'm sure they helped. I'm going to go blow out the altar candles now before I burn the apartment down, and then go decompress in a lovely hot shower. Oh, the relief!