Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mom Enough

I have a feeling this debate has been brewing for a long time.

Surprise, surprise, I don't intend to debate it at all.  I think breast-feeding is great, and will probably save mankind.  I wouldn't personally breast-feed an older toddler, but I would certainly consider putting it in a sippy cup.  If other moms prefer to dispense it directly, whatever.  Personal preferences will be what they will be.

My only issue with breast-feeding has fueled many a Facebook debate.  I am actually pleased to see breast-feeding in public, so long as the mother in question isn't acting like nobody around her should have a problem with her going practically topless.  Other cultures are fine with it, and that's great.  But here and now, I feel discretion is the better part of valor.

Anyhow, this post isn't about that either.  It is about the annoying habit of women in general to get enormously huffy and vindictive in the face of any insinuation that another woman may in fact be prettier, smarter, more accomplished, or more maternal than they are.

We have been trained to expect praise for everything.  "If you did your best, you won."  Actually, maybe your best isn't as great as someone else's, and maybe there's nothing wrong with that.  Be content that even though you may perform to the best of your ability, someone else may be better at it than you.  That isn't reason to hate her or criticize everything she does.

We seem to be driven by a compulsive need to justify ourselves, dismissing our shortfalls in the constant pursuit of feelings of personal awesomeness.  There is no need to condemn these women as freaks just to reassure yourself that you are indeed a good mother.  Get over yourselves.  This isn't a popularity contest.


  1. Everything is a competition. It's the American Way!

  2. With parenting, as with most things, you don't have to be the best. You only have to be YOUR best. It's not like the kids can fire you and hire some other mom! (Though it's pretty much guaranteed that they will want to at least from time to time.)