Too Stinkin' Cute

This really made my day.  Such adorable little yummy sounds!  :D

Deliver Us From Evil, the Book

I've finished reading "Beware the Night," by Ralph Sarchie and Lisa Collier Cool, now retitled "Deliver Us From Evil" after the movie.  Despite the major players being generally sedevacantist, sedeprivationist, or sedesomething else, it is a very good read.  If I had any complaint, it was that the main story is constantly derailed by related anecdotes, but these anecdotes are equally interesting, so I'm inclined to just forgive it and move on.  By the time you finish the book, you're less inclined to waste time arguing niggling points about papal authority and would rather just get on with arranging to have your house blessed.

After reading Gabriel Amorth, Malachi Martin, and Matt Baglio, there were still some new and interesting observations to take away from Ralph Sarchie's experiences.  Here are some highlights.

• Halloween is no joke.  The negative spiritual character if late October and early November existed long before the holiday.  That's why it's Halloween.  The tradition of costuming evolved as a means to possibly avoid possession by remaining incognito while the demons were roaming.  Even now, Mr. Sarchie has observed a dramatic surge in new cases during this season.
• Another especially bad time is Christmas.  There seems to be a demonic rampage every year around the birth of Christ.
• Only the most powerful spirits, called the true devils, can manipulate sacred objects.
• Demons often masquerade as ghosts or human spirits.  However, when demonic apparitions attempt to appear human, there is always something wrong.  Limbs or the face may be missing, or there may be some other distortion.  If you encounter an allegedly sympathetic spirit who exists only from the waist up, be very suspicious.
• Incubi and succubi do happen.  Yikes.
• Mr. Sarchie has observed three different varieties of demonic approach.  There are the "intellectuals," who approach a target with what may seem to be deep insights, religious experiences, and secret knowledge.  The "con artists" attempt to pass themselves off as human ghosts with sympathetic stories to engage their victims.  The "brutes" are more bestial and cause clawing, growling, and biting behaviors in possession.
• If anyone needed the advice, don't rent your basement to Satanists. 

Also, we're also actually not supposed to talk about this too much because recognition could draw the demon to you.  However, if we don't talk about it at all, it's not as if they'll all just go home to Hell and leave us alone.  Best to be aware, I say.  We are seriously looking into having a priest over to bless our apartment thoroughly, and while he's here were going to have him bless all the religious articles we've been collecting over the years, and that canister of sea salt from Monterey.  We'll try to always have holy water, oil and salt on hand from now on.  It's really the least we can do.

Practical Tips

File this away under things you never knew you needed to know.  In the unlikely event that you are ever the victim of a spell or hex, there is a protocol governing the discovery and disposal of the malefice responsible.  Several hard-working exorcists have developed these guidelines through some painful trail and error, so it's advice worth taking.

First of all, the three most useful substances to have on hand in any hairy situation are exorcized (or at least blessed) water, exorcised olive oil, and exorcised salt.  All three are efficacious in their symbolic ability to cleanse and heal body and soul.  The water is particularly useful in cleansing objects or spaces, the oil in ridding an afflicted individual of impurities or foreign objects which may need to be coughed up, and the salt in protecting places from evil influences (such as in cases of infestation).  Used in faith, these can apparently be remarkably powerful.

In the (unlikely but not impossible) event that you discover a strange object you believe to be the root of a curse, there are a few key things to remember.  These objects can be braided or knotted cords, colored string, figurines, bones, small animals, rocks, wire, or really anything.  What makes them suspicious is that they can appear where you least expect them, like inside your clothes, mattresses, pillows, or food.

• DO NOT TOUCH these things with your bare hands.  Chronic illness has been known to occur as a result.  
• The objects must first be sprinkled with holy water, then burned in a well-ventilated space (preferably outdoors), and the ashes disposed of in running water.  You may skip the burning if the object isn't flammable.
• Not all running water is created equal.  DO NOT attempt to dispose of anything in your plumbing, at least not unless you want to take advantage of your flood insurance.  A storm drain is a better choice.
• During the whole procedure, it is best that everyone present pray constantly.

Unfortunately, this also applies to that pillow or mattress which might have yielded the object in question.  Your neighbors will think you're crazy, and you might get a public citation, but this is the tried and true method.

Again, read this book. 

The Dangers of Magic

(After a few distractions, we're back to our regularly scheduled October series.)

I'm not talking about stage magic.  We're talking about witchcraft, curses and hexes.  Yes, they're real, and all demonic in origin.  This was truly frightening to me, because I never would have imagined it was possible.  Apparently, like all demonic activity, it's just another way God honors our free will and provides occasion for grace.

Father Amorth defines a curse as "harming others through demonic intervention."  He considers spells and witchcraft to be two different kinds of curses.  Seriously, this is not some innocent pastime for adolescent girls.  People get hurt doing this.  "Those who practice any sort of magic believe they can manipulate superior powers," he says, "but in reality it is they who are manipulated."

Naturally Father Amorth is most familiar with his native Italy, where a robust tradition of sorcery and spiritualism still survives.  In this context, his vocal opposition to the Harry Potter franchise is understandable.  "When curses are spoken with true perfidy," he says, "especially if there is a blood relationship between the one who cast them and the accursed, the outcome can be terrible.  The most common instances that I have encountered involved parents or grandparents who called down evil upon children or grandchildren.  The most serious consequences occur when the evil wish is against someone's life or when it is pronounced on a special occasion, such as a wedding.  The authority and the bonds that tie parents to their children are stronger than any other person's."  These curses apparently do not die with the ones who cast them, and can be frighteningly effective despite blessings, exorcism and prayer.

A spell may also be known as a malefice or a hex, and involves brining evil upon someone by means of a physical object, a kind of anti-sacramental.  Direct application involves the victim ingesting the cursed object, which according to Father Amorth, can be made of almost anything: "it can be menstrual blood; bones of dead people; various burned powders, mostly black; animal parts -- the heart seems to be the favorite; peculiar herbs; and so on.  But the evil efficacy is not so much in the material used as in the will to harm through demonic intervention."  Not surprisingly, one of the first symptoms of a spell of this kind are stomach pains which only improve when the substance is expelled through vomiting or otherwise.  Indirect application involves hexing the belongings of the victim or a proxy, "dolls, puppets, animals, even real people of the same age and sex."  Remember voodoo dolls?  Apparently they actually work.  The examples he gives are rather hair-raising, but I'll let you read the book for yourself.

Despite all this, he cautions that true hexes are still rare.  Although he has personally dealt with several, he has seen still more cases which had legitimate psychological explanations.  Sometimes curses fail, through the inexperience of the sorcerer, the prayer life of the intended victim, or the intervention of God.  "It would be a most grave error to live in fear of falling victim to a hex," he says.  Still, neither is it a good idea to completely deny their existence.

He describes witchcraft at length, which covers a broader range of activities than just spells and hexes.  Even when used for the most mundane and apparently innocuous personal purposes, witchcraft and genuine magic are always interaction with Satan and always come with harmful side effects.  In 2002, our neighbors' teenage daughter told me and my sister that she had been practicing witchcraft in her spare time, and had recently managed to open a door without touching it.  Later she complained of seeing a man in black at the foot of her bed at night.  Naturally I can't verify any of it, but it may be a useful case in point.

The moral of the story?  Witches aren't funny.  Dress your kids up as saints, for pity's sake.

And read this book.  (But not late at night.)

Ghosts, Part I

"We're Catholic; we don't believe in ghosts."

We've all heard it.  We might have even said it.  As Catholics, we do focus rather a lot on the minutia of the Four Last Things, insisting on categorizing and defining everything about them we possibly can.  Consequently, while we certainly believe in the existence of disembodied spirits, we like to think they are all neatly organized into their various compartments, Heaven, Hell and Purgatory.  But are they?

We know that demons "prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls," in the words of the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.  I remember a question raised in our theology class about the nature of Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory, namely whether they were physical places with boundaries outside this world or instead simply different states of being -- within the beatific vision, permanently deprived of the beatific vision, and temporarily deprived of the beatific vision.  I'm not qualified to make any conclusion and hope to do more research on the topic.  More on that later.

When someone today says, "My house is haunted," it sounds a little sketchy to those of us who have been conditioned to dismiss ghost stories.  But all he's really saying is that there is a spirit of some description loose in his home, which isn't so far-fetched.  Our friends and neighbors on the secular side of the fence are simply observing things the Church has recognized all along.

If you ask your average ghost hunter or paranormal enthusiast to describe different kinds of hauntings, you'll likely be told they come in two varieties, intelligent and residual.  Those of the intelligent variety are either benign or malignant.  For now we'll just consider the malignant ones, which are certainly the most urgent cases, and also the ones most thoroughly addressed in Catholic tradition.

Demons are most often responsible for malignant "hauntings."  Quite possibly they are always responsible.  There is apparently still a great deal of debate among exorcists and theologians as to whether damned souls can participate in demonic activities such as possessions and infestations.  The evidence would suggest that they can, but that evidence generally comes from the mouth of a victim of possession during exorcism, rendering it essentially useless.  The Devil is a liar, after all.

(I'm assuming, of course, that we all believe in Satan.  Contrary to popular belief, he was not suddenly done to death in the 1960s by the advances of modern science.)

The Devil acts in the world in a number of ways, ordinarily by temptation to sin, experienced on a daily basis by every human being since the dawn of time.  He also engages in a number of extraordinary activities which, like all things Catholic, have sophisticated names.

• "Infestation" refers to demonic activity associated with places or things.  Catholics are more likely to give credence to a haunted house if it is instead called a case of demonic infestation.  The classic symptoms include everything on a ghost hunter's list: footsteps, bangs, voices, growls, cold spots, objects being moved or thrown, the feeling of being watched, strange smells and odors, power outages and surges, moving doors and windows.  Pets often respond negatively to a demonic presence in the home.
• "Oppression" refers to any physical action or harm done by a demon, including beatings, scratches, pushing people out of bed or down stairs.  Many saints have experienced this.  Demonic oppression can also include the sabotage of the victim's work, health, or relationships.  The Book of Job in the Old Testament is a prime example.
• "Obsession" is a kind of super-temptation, a mental attack which takes the form of an unnatural fixation or obsession, hence the name.  Italian exorcist Father Francesco Bamonte, quoted by Matt Baglio, says, "Some are thoughts and impulses that urge people to harm others; some make people think that only a pact with Satan can get them out of their troubles or bring them success; some are thoughts to profane the Eucharist; others are thoughts to drive one to suicide."  Obsession can also cause nightmares.
• "Possession."  This is the one everybody knows about.  It's more common than most people think, but the rarest kind of extraordinary demonic activity.  I'll devote a whole post to this topic later.

With this background, those paranormal reality shows start to make more sense.  Don't laugh; it can be quite telling to see what the uncatechized have to say about the phenomena they witness.  My recent favorite is The Haunted by Animal Planet, a series of biographical sketches of families and their pets and the hauntings they encountered.  Once you get past all the sound effects and the sensational editing, at least half of them seem to be describing textbook cases of demonic infestation, oppression and obsession.  Some episodes include legitimate house blessings and exorcisms performed by Fr. Bob Bailey of St. Maria Goretti Parish in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.  Fr. Bob has apparently become the go-to priest for the mainstream paranormal scene, allegedly with the permission of his bishop.  

A generalized profile of an infested house is as follows.  There is usually an initial cause of the infestation, some involvement in the occult or hardened habitual sin.  This may predate the family currently in residence.  Many people describe an oppressive atmosphere in the home.  Small, inexplicable things happen: instruments play, doors open and close, objects move, pictures fall from the walls.  Pets become skittish, stressed, fearful, aggressive or overly protective.  Dogs fixate and bark at nothing.  Members of the family may see shadows or hear noises at night.  Some may have chronic nightmares.  There may be inexplicable temperature fluctuations.  In extreme cases, people claim to hear voices or see large black shapes, usually with red eyes, in the closet or in corners of the room or at the foot of the bed.  Members of the family may become severely depressed, have obsessive thoughts of suicide, or even attempt suicide.  Their condition may improve, however, when they are removed from the house.  The relationship between family members often becomes strained; disproportionate fights and arguments occur regularly for little or no reason.  This also can improve when the family leaves the house.  In cases in which the infestation predates the family in residence, some research into the history of the home may reveal other suicides.  Any one of these things might be explained away, but taken together they generally spell trouble.

If this sounds like your house, or a friend's house, schedule a house blessing as soon as possible.  Not just the holy water blessing, but the salt-throwing kind.  Father Amorth strongly recommends having blessed and/or exorcised water, olive oil and salt on hand in the home at all times.

Stubborn Realities

"It's not real."

I remember hearing that explanation quite often when I was a kid.  Ghosts aren't real.  Witches aren't real.  Magic isn't real.  Spells aren't real.  Curses aren't real.  Don't worry, it can't hurt you because it doesn't exist.  My mother was very firm and practical about it, and I was satisfied with that.  After all, if we had a choice, most of us would prefer to live in a world in which dark spiritual complications don't exist.  Unfortunately, I've been doing a bit of research over the past few years, and guess what . . .

It's all real.

Growing up in a Catholic home, we never questioned the existence of Satan.  Demons were simply a fact of life, as were angels, heaven, hell, and purgatory.  That, however, was the extent of our awareness of the spiritual world.  To some degree we felt, like the rest of the modern population, that we lived in a rational scientific world in which things like witchcraft were at worst a pathetic waste of time.  Now, as I read the accounts of respected modern exorcists who deal with preternatural phenomena on a regular basis, I'm discovering that some of those things we dismissed in our childhood are actually very real and can be very dangerous.

But, before anybody decides to sleep with the lights on, rest assured the Catholic Church has an answer for all these problems.  Some people would prefer not to know about any of this for their own peace of mind, but ignorance is no protection.  I would rather be informed and have a plan of action before I am ever confronted by something the exterminator can't explain away.  Forewarned is forearmed, after all.

October is here.  That usually means people are picking out their pumpkins and fussing over children's costumes.  With Halloween and All Souls Day just around the corner, there's no time like the present to consider some of these spiritual realities which can be all too easy to ignore or forget.  I'll be posting about them all month.

Halloween Bust

Nobody seems to enjoy the good old childhood traditions anymore.  Admittedly, we had a less than $10 budget for Halloween this year, but we did trick out the house with candles, organ music, and the smallest jack-o-lantern known to man.  In all fairness, there was a Halloween substitute party at the chapel called "Light the Night," but this neighborhood is crawling with more than enough kids to go around.  We had a grand total of two callers all night, and now we're swimming in an unexpected surplus of Raisinets and Milk Duds.

Targetisms

Scratch that. The Christmas lights won't set next week, because they set YESTERDAY. And today we dragged out lots of glitter and tinsel, bows and bells, the whole nine yards. Apparently a natural consequence of keeping the planogram schedule of the store a week ahead means we're a week early with the early Christmas set. When does this begin to get ridiculous? It isn't even October yet, and Halloween is still out in full force. I remember when the Bearenstein Bears were complaining about Christmas starting the day after Thanksgiving. Now apparently the week after Labor Day is acceptable.

On a slightly related topic, it was while neck deep in these Christmas lights that we discovered the worst example of cookie-cutter English I have ever seen. It was printed on a large carton originally intended to be stored and displayed on the riser shelf, far above anyone's reach, but with a picture on the side to look decorative before it was broken down and added to the shelves from which one could actually shop. In an attempt to convey this concept, the Chinese manufacturers had printed:

"THIS CARTON IS RISERABLE AND NOT SALEABLE"

What a nifty way to try turning nouns into verbs. Shakespeare could get away with making up words, but I don't think these two will make the cut.

While we're discussing the misuse of the English language, no one at Target seems to know what the word "compliance" really means. It's been bothering me for the last twelve months.

COMPLIANCE - noun (1) the action or fact of complying with a wish or command: they must secure each other's cooperation or compliance. - (COMPLIANCE WITH) the state or face of according with or meeting rules or standards: all imports of timber are IN COMPLIANCE WITH regulations.

When Target talks about "compliance" they mean compliance with the regulations regarding lawful breaks and lunches. However, when someone misses his lunch or is late in taking it, he is accused of being "in compliance" and subject to disciplinary action, etc., which grammatically makes no sense. People talk about not wanting "to be in compliance" as though that would be a bad thing, and everyone is encouraged to "stay out of compliance" by taking their breaks on time. I know vocabulary isn't a large part of the public education curriculum, but this use of the word is simply incorrect, and I pray it isn't used this way on a corporate level.

Also, this past week I noticed that some of the promotional signage in the women's apparel read: "MORE COLORS, LESS DOLLARS." I believe "fewer" would have been more correct in that case.

Is it just me, or is this getting a little embarrassing?

No News is Good News

It's been rather slow lately, and there really isn't anything new to report. David is settling in and killing some time before he can really get down to business. It's been great now that he has his phone, internet, AND snail mail, even if they don't let him have Hulu or YouTube. I've been up to my neck in Halloween candy and tacky decorations at work. The life-size skeleton butler with pipes for legs was a bit much. The overall theme this year is the Skelanimals; I liked it better last year when Domo was king. The rumor is that the Christmas lights get set next week, sneaking in on the back wall behind all the other fourth quarter seasonal madness.

The wedding is on track, so far as we know. There still remains some paperwork to clear, but it's being dealt with in due time. Invitations are still en route, leaving the house in waves, about as many as will fit in a ziplock bag I can grab before work in the morning and drop off on the way home. The recommended hotels, driving directions, and all other such useful information included in the invitation (and some that isn't) will also be posted here and linked to the sidebar for future reference. The registry has been edited and streamlined for what must be the tenth time. This imminent cross-country move is already giving me a headache.

Oh, and I bought an iron yesterday. So, just in case anyone was thinking of gifting us one, that's all right; we're covered. :)