tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2744251870600628532024-03-14T01:31:50.253-04:00Riding Shotgun"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;<br>
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."<br>
~ Winston ChurchillConquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.comBlogger366125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-14425477931687227162017-03-01T15:44:00.002-05:002017-03-01T15:47:22.644-05:00Green Routine: Hygiene Phase 2 of the plastics purge involves replacements for everyday items we've taken for granted. Fortunately lots of other people are jumping on this bandwagon, and this stuff is easily available on Amazon.<br />
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Bamboo toilet brush, bamboo toothbrushes, bamboo and tampico fiber dish brushes, a bamboo comb, and an intriguing disposable dish scrubber at least partially made from walnut shells. I had a little heartburn about parting ways with our Clorox toilet wand, but I'm now willing to make the sacrifice to keep a toilet brush clean. The business end of this one is still plastic, but at least I don't throw the head away every week. The bristles on the toothbrushes are still made of nylon, but it's a step in the right direction, and they were only $15 for four, which is supposed to be a year's supply. The comb works as well as any other comb, though you have to take a little extra effort not to break it.<br />
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We also replaced our plastic broom with ye old fashioned model. It's mostly for the porch, as I am not quite ready to let the Swiffer go.<br />
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By the way, I tried my first parchment paper produce bag the last time I bought a head of lettuce, and it worked like a dream.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-20482646769349164562017-02-24T07:54:00.001-05:002017-02-24T07:56:06.820-05:00Green Routine: Grocery Shopping<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've gone on anti-plastic tirades before, but this time I'm ready for a total lifestyle reboot.<br />
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I have officially had it with the self-important plastics in my life. I'm sure plastics are indispensable in certain applications, but we've gone a little crazy with it. There used to be a way to live without it, so I'm going to try to eliminate or at least minimize it in my daily routine.<br />
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First up, grocery shopping.<br />
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It's almost impossible to shop in a mainstream grocery store without bringing home a lot of disposable plastic and (my personal bugaboo) Styrofoam. When possible, I buy whatever brand of eggs comes in the paperboard carton, and I am often faced with the agonizing debate over the many varieties of particular products in which no single brand qualifies best in all categories (non-toxic, no sugar added, sustainable, cheap). At the end of the day, you can only do so much. So, here's what I'm doing.<br />
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This is my solution to the plastic produce bags. I might not have to be bothered at places like Mom's Organic Market, where they provide biodegradable bags, but for every other place I have my new PAPER accordion folder full of brown paper sandwich bags and homemade unbleached parchment paper bags (for lettuce, and other wet stuff). I made the parchment paper bags by cutting a length off the roll, folding it over, and throwing some quick stitching along the seams with the sewing machine. As an added bonus, the folder was 10% recycled; not great, but better than nothing. The whole kit will stay in the car for ease of access on grocery days.<br />
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And, of course, I have my reusable shopping bags in the trunk.<br />
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(If anyone has any dirt on parchment paper, let me know, and I'll switch to wax paper.)<br />
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More installments to come very soon.<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-43973627331474215702016-12-14T22:34:00.001-05:002016-12-15T14:28:51.382-05:00Food FraudAfter reading a brief but terrifying article online somewhere, I read "Real Food, Fake Food" by Larry Olmsted. There was a queue of twenty-two people ahead of me at the local library requesting this book, so it was more than a month before I got my hands on it. It was well-worth the wait. I will never, ever order fish at a restaurant again.<br />
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Here are the useful takeaways if you don't have time to read the whole book.<br />
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<b>Parmesan Cheese</b><br />
<ul>
<li>"Parmesan" is not a generic type of cheese, but a very specific name for the real thing, properly called Parmigiano-Reggiano, from Parma, Italy. Growing up a food heathen, I had no idea. It is known as the "King of Cheeses" for good reason, which none of us who are used to the horrible Kraft imitation product can appreciate. </li>
<li>Kraft "Parmesan" products typically contain 4% cellulose (wood pulp), and some other brands as much as 7.8%.</li>
<li>Price point alone is no indication of authenticity; even fakes can cost a bundle. High end restaurants are often as guilty as neighborhood grocery chains.</li>
<li>If you want the real thing, the actual Parmesan from Parma which has been subject to incredibly strict quality controls, look for the full name "Parmigiano-Reggiano," the "Made in Italy" stamp, and the PDO seal (Protected Designation of Origin). Another dead giveaway is the pin-dot pattern on the rind. These are buffed off any wheels that fail to make the cut, like tattoos off a washed out gangster. </li>
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<b>Seafood</b></div>
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<ul>
<li>Not for the faint of heart, seafood is the worst offender when it comes to food fraud. Enforcement is almost non-existent, penalties are light, profits are huge.</li>
<li>Oceana found fraud in 58% of retail outlets and 39% of restaurants in New York City alone, including 100% of sushi restaurants tested. Think about that the next time you want to eat raw mystery fish.</li>
<li>If you order white tuna, you are going to get something completely different 94% of the time. Most commonly it is escolar, nicknamed "Ex-Lax fish" for the variety of unpleasant digestive effects it can have. It has been documented to cause waves of food poisonings, has been banned in Japan, and was briefly banned by the FDA in the 1990s. Now escolar is the best selling and most widely-served fish in the USA, despite the fact that almost no one has ever heard of it. </li>
<li>Forget grouper or red snapper. Unless you see the whole fish with the head on, they are almost never real.</li>
<li>The other most common impostor is Cambodian ponga, a Asian catfish which is usually farmed with dangerous farming practices, often using unapproved or banned antibiotics and other drugs. You've probably encountered it wearing a name-tag which read "American catfish," or "sole," or "flouder," or "cod." </li>
<li>If you're pregnant, avoid fish altogether. You have no way of knowing if your low-mercury fish is actually a high-mercury fish in disguise. It happens a lot.</li>
<li>In one of the worst examples of dangerous fish fraud, a couple in Chicago unwittingly poisoned themselves in 2007 with "monkfish" which turned out to be pufferfish. Fortunately, they survived.</li>
<li>Be very suspicious of unremarkable white fish fillets. They could be almost anything.</li>
<li>Transshipment to obscure the true country of origin is a widespread problem. For instance, when seafood from China is banned, exports from neighboring countries like Thailand and Indonesia suddenly suspiciously increase.</li>
<li>Thailand supplies the majority of the shrimp consumed in America, mostly from drug-laced shrimp farms, some of which are manned with slave labor acquired by human trafficking. In many cases, these farms have been built at the complete expense of the mangrove habitat so important to those regions.</li>
<li>Stick with domestic wild-caught shrimp. It is the gold standard in the rest of the world, which is why so much of it is exported while we American idiots eat imported slave-produced crap shrimp from Thailand.</li>
<li>Farmed salmon are routinely fed artificial dyes to make them pink, because they have not had the benefit of having krill in their diet. This artificial color tends to leak out when you cook it.</li>
<li>Fish farming is illegal in Alaska, so if you can verify Alaska as the true origin of any seafood product, you're getting the good stuff.</li>
<li>If you order lobster, make sure it is a whole lobster. Otherwise, your lobster roll or lobster linguine or lobster taco is more likely to contain "langostino," a large prawn (or sometimes a crab) the FDA quietly allowed to be called "langostino lobster" at the request of Rubio's Restaurants, Inc. in 2005. Red Lobster and Long John Silver's gleefully jumped on that bandwagon, much to the chagrin of the Maine Lobster Promotion Council. <b>Worse, sometimes your "langostino lobster" is neither lobster nor even langostino, but cheap and overabundant Chinese crawfish </b>which are subject to huge anti-dumping tariffs precisely because no one wants them. A double-whammy.</li>
<li>Scallops are often saturated with water and phosphates to make them bigger, whiter, and heavier, making them tasteless and sad. The practice is so common that "dry scallops" sell for a higher price, but even they aren't completely "dry," only saturated up to the legal limit. Look for scallops that are ivory, not white.</li>
<li>Domestic catfish are the only ones that may legally be called catfish, and farmed domestic catfish is actually one of the safer fish options around.</li>
<li>Look for third-party certifications, for instance the Marine Stewardship Council (MSC) for wild-caught fish, and Global Aquaculture Alliance's Best Aquaculture Practices (BAP) for farmed. Also good to see are the Gulf Wild seal and the Gulf of Maine Responsibly Harvested certification. </li>
<li>Buy American whenever possible. This country actually has some of the highest standards of seafood production in the world.</li>
<li>Order whole fish at restaurants, or don't order fish at all. Restaurants routinely fake fish.</li>
<li>Label terms like "fresh," "natural," and "organic" have no legal definition in this context. "Sushi grade" and "sashimi grade" are equally meaningless. </li>
<li>The retail leaders in seafood accountability are Whole Foods and (less predictably) big box stores like Walmart, Costco, and BJ's.</li>
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<b>Olive and Truffle Oils</b><br />
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<ul>
<li>Olive oil is highly perishable, more like fruit juice than oil, with a very limited optimal shelf life. The majority of the olive oil on the market is rancid.</li>
<li>There are three grades of olive oil, extra virgin, virgin, and the dregs, also called "lamp oil." Of course, all producers love to label their product "Extra Virgin" regardless of quality.</li>
<li>The most common methods of olive oil fraud are diluting it with other oils (such as sunflower or soybean), or diluting it with lower grade olive oils (usually chemically refined, which negates the touted health benefits). Often peanut oil is used, an obvious problem for people with allergies. </li>
<li>Carryover, the practice of diluting fresh extra virgin oil with the previous year's (now rancid) "extra virgin" oil, is widespread.</li>
<li>Spain, not Italy, is currently the worlds largest olive oil producer.</li>
<li>While very good olive oil is made in Italy, the majority of "Italian" extra virgin olive oil we see in this country is bad. Italy has a hard time making enough of the good stuff to supply its own domestic demand, but Italian exporters saw an opportunity to exploit the country's reputation for quality. They regularly buy up large quantities of inferior olive oil from many different countries so they can bottle it, stamp "Product of Italy" on it, and sell it to Americans who don't know any better. Leave it on the shelf.</li>
<li>You get real extra virgin olive oil in restaurants less than half of the time.</li>
<li>Pompeian brand is bad news; it almost always fails quality checks.</li>
<li>"100% Extra Virgin" means nothing. There is almost no enforcement of quality checks.</li>
<li>The USDA's standards for extra virgin olive oil are more permissive than they should be, but the majority of available brands still fail when tested.</li>
<li>California has the strictest quality standards in the US, so Californian olive oils are a better bet than most.</li>
<li>Don't ever buy plain "olive oil" unless you plan on oiling your bicycle with it. It is that "lamp oil" which has been chemically refined to make it barely edible and mixed with very small amounts of virgin or extra virgin oil. Steer clear of "Pure Olive Oil;" it doth protest too much, if you know what I mean.</li>
<li><b>Australia currently leads the world in extra virgin olive oil quality standards</b>, and has banned confusing terms like "premium," "super," "light," and "pure." </li>
<li>"Cold-pressed" or "first cold press" are more often than not meaningless phrases to pretty up the bottle. The majority of olives are processed by centrifuge today.</li>
<li>Regarding truffle oil, the only thing to say about it is that it is always completely fake. There is no real truffle oil, not only because it would be prohibitively expensive, but because the truffle flavor doesn't carry well into oil. It's every bit as genuine as artificial vanilla flavor. Just leave it.</li>
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Some real food comes from some very distinct places and are subject to rigorous standards, especially if they are named after that place. These labels are your friends.<br />
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<b>Kobe Beef</b></div>
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<ul>
<li>There is almost no genuine Kobe beef anywhere in the USA. The USDA banned all import of Japanese beef in 2001 due to concerns about mad cow disease. The ban was lifted in 2006, reinstated in 2010, lifted in 2012. Even though the ban is lifted, only a minuscule amount of the genuine article is imported each year, and then only to a very select few high-end restaurants, NEVER to individual consumers. Despite this, alleged Kobe beef seems to be everywhere.</li>
<li>Real Kobe beef is so saturated with fat that it is only served in tiny portions, and resembles butter more than steak. Real Kobe beef would NEVER be made into steaks, burgers, sliders, or hot dogs because they would be gross. Don't pay extra for common domestic beef masquerading as Kobe.</li>
<li>Wagyu beef is trickier, with a very wobbly definition everywhere but in Japan. Could be good, could be crap.</li>
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<b>Champagne</b></div>
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<ul>
<li>Real Champagne comes from Champagne, France, and nowhere else. The traditional quality standards give new meaning to the word rigid. Everything else is just sparkling wine and not worth a Champagne price tag.</li>
<li>There is no such thing as a red Champagne.</li>
<li>Real Champagne gets bubbles from natural fermentation in the bottle, not from injected carbon dioxide.</li>
<li>In 2006, the USA finally granted some legal protection to region-specific wines which had a long and inglorious tradition of counterfeiting in America, including (among others) Champagne, port, Burgundy, Chablis, sherry, sauternes, and Madeira. The catch was that all the offending wineries which preexisted the agreement were grandfathered in. So, nothing really changed.</li>
<li>Korbel is probably one of the worst offenders, and their product isn't great. Don't buy it.</li>
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<b>Imitation Cheese</b></div>
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<ul>
<li>If you want good domestic cheese, look for the ones that aren't pretending to be cheese specific to somewhere else. That list includes but is not limited to Parmesan, Gruyere, Emmental (Swiss), feta, Asiago, Meunster (the real thing is Munster), provolone, fontina, and Gorgonzola. There have been some long legal battles fought over these names, fought on this end mostly by Kraft. No surprise there.</li>
<li>Any real cheese should only have a few ingredients, mainly milk, salt, and rennet, maybe some enzymes and spices. The rest are probably more accurately "cheese products."</li>
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<b>Grass-fed Beef</b></div>
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<ul>
<li>The only thing beef requires to be called "grass-fed" is to be fed grass at least once during its lifetime. Even feedlot cattle eat grass at least once when they are very young.</li>
<li>It has been common practice for a long time to "finish" otherwise completely grass-fed cattle on grain before market, negating many of the health benefits.</li>
<li>Look for the "100% Grass Fed" label, one of the few the USDA still enforces, requiring an optional process verification. It means all grass all the time.</li>
<li>The label "Natural" can be put on even the worst example of feedlot beef because it refers to the minimal processing, not the quality of the animal. The term "naturally raised," however, has been defined by the USDA to mean no antibiotics, no growth promotants, and no feeding of animal byproducts, but not necessarily completely grass-fed. </li>
<li>The terms "pasture raised," "pasture finished," "no additives," "no animal by-products," "free range," "free roaming," "green fed," "humane," and "pesticide free" are not defined or enforced, and are often false.</li>
<li>Buy bison when you can. That market hasn't been exploited yet. There are no such thing as bison feed lots.</li>
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<b>Miscellaneous</b></div>
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<ul>
<li>Honey is often fake, often adulterated, sometimes toxic, and often transshipped from suspect countries.</li>
<li>Some honeys are left with pollen in, others are ultra-filtered. Incidentally, ultra-filtering removes the pollen which is the only thing that can identify the honey's origin. </li>
<li>A lot of extremely suspect Chinese honey is ultra-filtered and transshipped through places like India. Chinese honey is often heavily cut with corn syrup. Sometimes, the bees are fed corn syrup. Often it is contaminated with drugs like chloramphenicol, which can lead to a potentially fatal bone marrow disorder. Chinese honey is specifically banned for import into the USA because of its abysmal quality, but it gets in anyhow, just like Chinese seafood.</li>
<li>The FDA created voluntary grades for honey, Grade A, Grade B, and Grade C. Because they are voluntary and completely unenforced, they mean nothing. What admit that it's Grade C when you can get away with calling it Grade A?</li>
<li>Manuka honey, made exclusively in New Zealand, is rarely real when you encounter it in the rest of the world. </li>
<li>Avoid supermarket brand honey and buy local.</li>
<li>Coffee has problems, but I don't drink it, so I didn't pay much attention.</li>
<li>Most fruit juice is mostly apple juice no matter what the flavor, and most of the apple juice in America comes from contaminated Chinese apple juice concentrates. </li>
<li>Many juice additives are not required to be disclosed on the label. For orange juice, this can include lemon juice, high-fructose corn syrup, mandarin juice, grapefruit juice, paprika extract, and beet sugar. Apple juice has a long list as well.</li>
<li>Supermarket tomatoes have been bred for durability in shipping, not for flavor. They are picked green and gassed with ethylene to "ripen" them for sale. What I did not know is that the ethylene triggers only a reddening response, not any actual ripening. As a country, we're used to eating red green tomatoes. Look for vine ripened local tomatoes or grow your own.</li>
<li>Ethylene gassing is also used to allow bananas to ship safely. While the practice isn't exactly unhealthy, we would apparently be blown away by the flavor of a tree-ripened banana.</li>
<li>Maple syrup shares many of the same problems as honey. Most maple flavored products don't contain any maple syrup at all, but apparently some combination of high-fructose corn syrup and/or maltodextrin, fenugreek and anise.</li>
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Be ye warned.</div>
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SHOP HERE: <a href="https://www.zingermans.com/" target="_blank">Zingerman's mail order.</a> It's the good stuff.</div>
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-80817059843957461152016-08-19T18:08:00.000-04:002016-08-19T18:10:40.797-04:00DIY Dog FurnitureI saw this online and immediately wanted one. Andy has a standard dog crate big enough for a golden retriever. It lives under the dining room table and is just an awkward eyesore. It would be great to have one that doubled as a classy end-table. <br />
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This particular one is listed for $105, although the nicer ones can run $200-$400. Looking back, maybe we should have just bought it, because in the end we only saved about $50 by doing it ourselves. The original plan was to only spend $20 and seemed like a stroke of brilliance. </div>
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We begin with an old cabinet of unknown provenance that we acquired for $20 at Goodwill six years ago.</div>
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Until lately, it had been used to store our DVDs. Now it will be transformed into Lady Andromache's doggie boudoir. </div>
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First step was to remove the shelf and pull out the support pins with pliers. Easy. Next we had to cut windows into the doors. That was a bit more complicated because the only power tool we own is a drill. I used it like a woodpecker, and after three days of drilling and chiseling, we had fabulous open spaces. </div>
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A little wood stain and varnish, and it looks great. Just don't look too closely.</div>
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Anyway, we added fencing to the front doors by cutting up the divider that came with Andy's big crate. We had never used it, and it was about time it justified the space it was taking up in the closet. I attached it be means of screws and big washers for lack of any better ideas. Then I pried the rotten cardboard off the back.</div>
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I was still undecided about how to finish the back when we went to Home Depot this morning. The original plan was to use a panel from the portable dog fence on the patio, but that proved impractical. After wandering around for a while, we found a pet grille meant for a screen door. At $35, that was what pushed us over budget, but it worked out perfectly after trimming it down to size.</div>
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Scored some 3" high density foam for the bottom today at the craft store. That stuff is usually $50/yard, but we only needed 13" AND we brought our 50% off coupon. So, $9.</div>
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I covered the foam with part of Andy's old fleece blanket and secured it with safety pins underneath because I didn't have the patience to sew it into a zipper cover. Took out the door magnets. The front was retrofitted with a hook latch between the handles, and it was finished.</div>
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Andy hasn't seen it yet. I hope she likes it when she gets home from doggie daycare. Johanna was intrigued by the whole process.</div>
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-30028886973742328282016-02-19T11:11:00.000-05:002016-02-19T11:11:40.100-05:00The Inversion of Victim-BlamingThis rant has been building for a while, but I'll try to keep it brief. <br />
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My husband shared an article with me this morning from <a href="http://www.nationalreview.com/article/431493/date-rape-drug-reports-rape-culture-claremont-university-consortium" target="_blank">National Review about another incident of overblown outrage over the suggestion that rapists roam at large on college campuses</a>. I thought that was just an established fact at this point. Apparently a warning emailed to students about a rash of drugged drinks and the suggestion that all female students spare the time and effort to take some precautions was "unacceptable" and an example of "rape culture." <br />
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Somehow the possibility that women should have to consider and guard against the possibility of rape has become insulting. It is not victim-blaming to suggest that women do bear some responsibility for their own safety. That includes planning, taking precautions, and being aware of your surroundings. If that equals rape culture, then rape culture has been around since the dawn of time and isn't going anywhere. Might as well adapt to it.<br />
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These outraged students need to remember what real rape culture and real victim-blaming look like, a time when it was considered impossible to rape any woman who could be proved to have venereal disease, because that was proof positive that she was just a slut. See the documentary "Girl 27" for more on that.<br />
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I was listening to NPR the other day, and the topic was domestic violence and what we as a society can do about it. One caller dared to suggest that women do in fact bear some responsibility to avoid attaching themselves to obviously violent and abusive men. He was immediately dismissed as a victim-blamer and completely disregarded.<br />
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The world is a dangerous place. No amount of public awareness this side of Utopia is going to make the ancient social ills of mankind vanish into the ether. Rapists gonna rape. The suggestion that all women are helpless floozies who must be protected by society at large against their own carelessness is insulting and infantilizing. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lnnzmo-O7DQ/VsXg7ebcM5I/AAAAAAAACb8/5QKjuN5DS-A/s1600/red-solo-cup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lnnzmo-O7DQ/VsXg7ebcM5I/AAAAAAAACb8/5QKjuN5DS-A/s200/red-solo-cup.jpg" width="156" /></a>That said, the apparently outrageous email which sparked this debate is actually full of good basic advice. Watch out for your friends, watch your drink, keep your wits about you. The idea of "the integrity of your cup" is not a joke; my husband tells me it is common advice in the military to just get a new drink if you went to the bathroom and didn't bring it with you. Don't trust anyone else to have your immediate safety as his first priority. That is your job.<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-59345067504174688652016-02-18T09:44:00.001-05:002016-02-18T09:44:21.305-05:00Continuing Adventures in GeekdomThe latest (and surprisingly expensive) project has been to extensively revise and actually print my past writing projects, which so far has amounted to nearly 900 pages. Printer toner can run into money. Unfortunately, since my mind seems only to conceive multi-part epics, my past writing projects are also my current projects, which just complicates the issue considering our current unreliable tech situation. I have very distinct ideas about which fonts I want to use for the text and chapter titles, and those fonts currently only exist on my geriatric laptop. I would download them onto the desktop, but because it is primarily a gaming computer it was not equipped with a word processor, and the fonts available on Google Docs just don't cut it. So, I'm hoping I can somehow finish the last approximately thirty chapters of this Thranduil saga I started TWELVE YEARS ago before the laptop finally gives up the ghost for good and takes all my formatting with it. That's the goal. We'll see if Miss JoJo will deign to give me enough free time to make it happen.<br />
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In that vein, since it's been so long already and because I'm not likely to stop being a fanatical self-proclaimed Thranduil expert in the future, I've decided to actually spend money on it. I think my family might disown me if I opted for a tattoo, but I found someone who makes customizable Tengwar rings on Etsy and I think I have to have one. I'll get it somehow, even if I have to live on potatoes and oatmeal until I accumulate enough budget points. Fortunately for the dog, I'm not selfish enough to dip into her knee surgery fund.<br />
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While we're on the subject, here's some fan art by ItanHimitsu I think is worth showcasing, even though it also features Tauriel. He looks generally tired and worn down, as you would expect after everything he's had to put up with.<br />
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Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-38114256913054632812016-02-17T10:16:00.000-05:002016-02-17T10:16:37.667-05:00It's ALIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!Ok, that was a nice blog vacation. We got completely caught up in the day-to-day baby business and essentially forgot about blogging. Now I think I'll actually make an effort to resuscitate it.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cA3fv3ZTL6Q/VsNBKUsmm6I/AAAAAAAACa4/YOoby8832nc/s1600/macbook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cA3fv3ZTL6Q/VsNBKUsmm6I/AAAAAAAACa4/YOoby8832nc/s400/macbook.jpg" /></a>Also, a miracle happened! The after eight months of lying in a coma collecting dust, the laptop lives! It is woefully outdated, and needs a fresh operating system if I am ever to be able to download program updates, but it is still sufficient for my fanfiction writing needs. Writing is something that also hasn't happened for nearly a year, but that was because the laptop took the last chapters to its grave, and the prospect of writing them again from scratch was just too disheartening. Fortunately all data has been recovered and all the old projects have been revived. Writing makes me feel like an independent adult rather than simply slave labor for an infant princess.<br />
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Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-39724452109303460812015-09-02T11:15:00.001-04:002015-09-02T11:26:20.386-04:00Crisis of FaithI am not having one, but I don't seem to be much help to those people who are. That makes me incredibly restless and itchy, so this is just an outlet for the maelstrom of disjointed thoughts swirling around in my head.<br />
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In the spirit of full disclosure, I have never had a crisis of faith. Maybe it's my phlegmatic nature, but working on the assumption that Catholicism is indeed the one true faith informed by a just, omnipotent and omniscient God, I assume that there is a reasonable answer for every question, and we can find it if we look hard enough. Likewise, whatever crap happens to me in the life must have an equally compelling reason, and it isn't necessary for me to know. That is not part of my job to work out. That is why I am not God.<br />
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Many times the first thing I hear is the tired old question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" It just saps the life out of me, because it has been asked and answered so many times before. Deep down, it's usually a case of the tough getting going when the going got tough. They hadn't really thought about it before and went through life on spiritual cruise control until suddenly something horrible happened in their lives, and now they have to reinvent the theological wheel. Their prayers weren't answered to their satisfaction; God wasn't there for them; they didn't get their miracle. Clearly God isn't worth their time.<br />
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What helped me most during the dark times was putting things in perspective. The worst suffering in our lives is probably peanuts compared to the suffering of someone else. There is always someone with a more compelling tragedy. Getting pissy and angry with God is completely pointless, because He is the best and sometimes only comfort. The crucifixion should be reminder enough.<br />
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"But now I'm thinking for myself," they say. Are they really thinking, or are they just angry and feeling sorry for themselves? I congratulate them if they are able to intuit what we have gained over thousands of years of collective study. They come to the prideful conclusion that they don't have to take this supposed abuse from a tyrannical deity, that they are taking a stand for the little man, a stand against all the injustice of the world.<br />
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Even if God was an arbitrary tyrant, what would this little hunger strike accomplish? He doesn't need our approval of His management of the universe. Deciding to ignore Him doesn't make Him go away. If we are angry enough to deny His existence, who are we angry at now? If we acknowledge His existence but don't like Him, we can either just come to terms with Him because there is no getting around it, or we can invent the God we like and live a happy fantasy.<br />
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There are some hard questions which must be asked. Are we rejecting everything we ever thought we knew and believed about God because we suddenly know better, or because we are angry and emotional? Are we too proud to admit we were wrong? Are we getting some perverse enjoyment out of the mistaken romance of our own "Non serviam," or the feeling of self-righteous victimhood? Are we just too lazy to give the matter serious thought anymore?<br />
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In any case, imagining God to be a capricious abuser who enjoys inflicting suffering on us, that the crucifixion was no more than a case of divine one-upmanship to stem the tide of human complaints, must be a very bitter and lonely place to be.<br />
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There is no need to stay there.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-17960431222240554962015-08-10T21:33:00.000-04:002015-08-10T21:33:42.451-04:00Now that we have a spare moment . . .<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Now that her highness is in bed, I can finally get a spare moment on the computer. I do so miss my laptop these days. Little JoJo has become the clingy koala bear who doesn't like to play independently for more than five minutes. This picture was only possible after she accidentally fell asleep after screaming to be picked up while I was busy making lunch. Thanks for small miracles.<br />
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She is now five months old and sixteen pounds. Her new skills include laughing and sitting up in the bath. She's mastered all the toys on her jumperoo already, so we'll have to use some ingenuity to keep it interesting. She's broken her winning streak of sleeping through the night, and now calls for assistance regularly around 2 and 5AM. <br />
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In other news, I've finally decided to walk the walk when it comes to plastics and an ecologically conscious household. The first steps include reusable lady pads, which I discover are called "mom cloth." I sprung for the organic cotton ones from Etsy rather than the polyester from Amazon because of the plastics issue. They haven't arrived yet, so I can't comment on their performance. It was a very short leap there from JoJo's cotton diapers. I was also finally brave enough to buy a man razor, which I'm finally getting the hang of after some trepidation. I can't continue to rant against single-use plastics without being willing to make some changes. That also means a win for Smuckers natural peanut butter over the other brands because of the glass jar. I've been saving them so we can eventually get rid of all our plasticware food storage.</div>
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Stay tuned for many more posts about the crafting projects that have been going on. The felt food got bogged down in the green beans, since they need to be sewn by hand and free time is in short supply. I still have to post pictures of the busy book I finished before she was born, and I managed to bang out a growth chart and a rewards jar. One other extremely forward-looking activity which has captured my interest is printing out <a href="http://handwritingworksheets.com/" target="_blank">handwriting worksheets from an online generator</a>, both printing and cursive. Seems you can find an online generator for anything. Little JoJo will have plenty of practice for her penmanship, and the extra busy work will let her earn marbles for the aforementioned rewards jar.</div>
Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-31995557293067129572015-06-23T08:07:00.001-04:002015-06-23T08:07:22.750-04:00Baby Progress Report<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VL74Oel_QH0/VYlHir2zeNI/AAAAAAAACWs/3tNpYq-BUFo/s1600/DSCN0990.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VL74Oel_QH0/VYlHir2zeNI/AAAAAAAACWs/3tNpYq-BUFo/s400/DSCN0990.JPG" width="400" /></a>For about five minutes, I imagined little premature JoJo would be a petite, underdeveloped baby. Now three months old, Princess Chunk is closing in on 15 pounds and wearing clothes sized for a 12 month-old. No problems catching up to the average here. I am also extremely gratified to report that she has figured out how to deal with a normal breastfeeding routine, and we have been able to put away the pump. Hooray for many fewer bottle washings.</div>
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Her current interests include morning stroller walks and lounging on the porch with the dog. She's reached that awkward phase when she's awake more often and completely bored by the activities she's capable of. Hopefully that will spur her on to more manual dexterity and we can break out some of the cool toys.</div>
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Most fabulous of all, she's consistently sleeping through the night in her own bed in her own room, generally from 9:30 PM to 6 AM, with no diaper overflow. I feel like we've won the parental lottery.</div>
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My every spare baby-free moment is spent on a new all-consuming project - a deluxe kitchen and felt toy food set for her future use. We've finished making hamburgers, lettuce, spinach, tomato slices, onion rings, mushrooms, avocados, bacon, fried eggs, cheese slices, condiments, cookies, sandwich bread, luncheon meat, linguine and farfalle pasta, two kinds of cereal, and pancakes with all the toppings. Currently in progress are kiwi, banana, strawberry and peach fruit slices, ravioli, breakfast sausage, and more cookies. Getting some little green pom poms for peas, and considering making green beans. Loads of fun, but very time consuming. Someday we'll have our dining room table back.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-1213327618721600512015-05-01T07:41:00.000-04:002015-05-01T07:41:49.693-04:00Tastes of the WeekI've started to notice that we are falling into a rut as regards our culinary habits. There are too many interesting edible items on this earth to be limited to the basic selection of the average supermarket. So, I think we should try experiencing something new each week. Here's what we've tried so far.<br />
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<span style="text-align: left;">Kumquats. Tiny oranges the size of cherry tomatoes that taste like lemons. Not really good for a quick snack, and really hard to make juice with. Better left for people making preserves.</span></div>
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Passion fruit juice. Maybe one day we'll find an actual passion fruit. Tastes like mangoes. </div>
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Eggplant. Sort of weirdly bland and peppery at the same time. Not sure it's worth the bother of preparation.</div>
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Star fruit, product of Taiwan. Great for garnish, but not much to eat. Tastes like an apple collided with a pear.</div>
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-46708751743596461032015-04-18T16:54:00.001-04:002015-04-18T16:54:18.942-04:00Positive Developments<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pKFdSX0j8o8/UWXYSUEfHXI/AAAAAAAABd4/gKMeQr1aask/s1600/Health-benefits-of-olive-oil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pKFdSX0j8o8/UWXYSUEfHXI/AAAAAAAABd4/gKMeQr1aask/s1600/Health-benefits-of-olive-oil.jpg" height="320" width="252" /></a>Olive oil to the rescue, once again. Great for raw skin,and for lubricating flanges of unfortunate size. We are back in business where the pumping is concerned.<br />
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Also, JoJo has finally (mostly) overcome her uncoordinated attempts at nursing. She still comes down pretty hard with the gums sometimes, but we've had more success lately than not, free from the pressure of lactation specialists. No nipple shields, supplementation tubes, or other strange devices. She just needed some time to sort herself out and grow a bigger mouth. Nipple confusion is totally not a thing in her case; she knows exactly what everything is for. Again, smart but lazy. We'll have to practice some more mobile positions before we attempt it in public, because I'm not dragging that ergonomic pillow she likes so much around everywhere.<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-2964060740468650012015-04-16T12:41:00.000-04:002015-04-16T12:41:30.641-04:00Joys and Woes of the First Month<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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They weren't kidding when they talk about the proverbial sleepless nights. I don't actually have any room to complain, because for the most part JoJo sleeps pretty soundly, wakes up to be changed and fed, and then obligingly goes back to sleep. My routine is slightly encumbered by the subsequent chores of pumping and cleaning pump parts, after which I am allowed to go back to bed. The trouble is that I don't ever remember sleeping, just constantly waking up to the same tasks, like groundhog day.<br />
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Pumping milk is a drag. I waffle between loving it and hating it, and right now I'm not a fan. I can build the thing and break it down like a Marine field stripping a rifle, sometimes literally in my sleep. Unfortunately for me, my skin obligingly expands to overcrowd any size flange available, so chafing has become a real problem, aggravated by JoJo's chomping pseudo-latch when we attempt direct nursing. At this point, I've discovered it's less painful and sometimes quicker to express by hand than to be bothered assembling and cleaning the pump. I have a new affinity and pity for dairy cows and their lot in life. It doesn't help that the largest nursing bra Amazon had to offer is too small, resulting in an almost constant war on blocked ducts, which has in turn made the baffling lack of hot water in the shower a critical issue. I begin to suspect we share a hot water heater with the neighbors upstairs. On particularly bad days, sleep once again takes a back seat to a steamy therapeutic shower at 0300, because it is absolutely worth it.<br />
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On the positive side, she's much cuter now! And she opens her eyes a lot more. She doesn't mind being put down, and is still quite content to sleep most of the day. You would think I'd have many opportunities to nap, but having another diurnal critter around who would very much like to play or just howl bloody murder at passers by complicates things. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sl7nUH9NtOQ/VS_k7ONE92I/AAAAAAAACUA/k9DRMKi6-j8/s1600/DSCN0849.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sl7nUH9NtOQ/VS_k7ONE92I/AAAAAAAACUA/k9DRMKi6-j8/s1600/DSCN0849.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>As babies go, she's remarkably low maintenance. She sleeps in the car, and is generally happy to carry on napping in the car seat through any errand I need to run so long as we keep it under an hour or two. We have yet to manage her grand debut at church, but we hope for the best. Today will be the first time I attempt to take her along to Andy's doggie playdate. I look forward to the day when she can finally hold her head up and fit in the Ergo carrier, which is a lot easier to get into alone than the wrap. We broke in the stroller for the first time yesterday, and managed a casual pack walk with the dog, who is fortunately better behaved in the presence of baby than otherwise.</div>
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Interesting updates to follow as they occur. </div>
Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-71615664791083528772015-04-08T14:59:00.001-04:002015-04-08T14:59:45.748-04:00Cute Easter Outfit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-66761028109527193762015-03-31T18:41:00.000-04:002015-04-10T12:02:22.098-04:00The First Two Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There isn't too much more to report. JoJo continues to be a great sleeper, except at night. But even then, it isn't terrible. A few well-placed naps make that situation manageable. Also, my incision is healing nicely, so getting in and out of bed is much less odious than it used to be.<br />
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Nursing seems to be a complete bust at this point. Her latch is terrible and she either gets frustrated or falls asleep before we can work on it much. I want to assign her some reading from a book on the subject, but sadly she doesn't seem interested. In the meantime, I'm pumping enough for twins, and the only drawback seems to be fussing around with cleaning bottles several times a day. It's not what we envisioned, but I think we can make it work. We've replaced all the plastic with glass bottles to avoid as many of those nasty endocrine-disrupting chemicals as possible. She's gaining weight nicely, which is the important point. <br />
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More interesting updates to follow as she approaches her due date and becomes less grub-like. She would be 38 weeks by now.<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-63270477165962557692015-03-25T15:30:00.000-04:002015-03-25T15:30:25.074-04:00The Package Has Arrived<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ta-da! It was an absolutely miserable process I am not keen to repeat anytime soon, but they were right when they said the end result would be worth it. After a c-section that was at least four times as horrible as the last one, little Johanna was born just before 4 PM last Friday, 6 lbs 12 oz. It was tough to bond right away while I was having my own problems in the OR, but Dave got to be there in his hazmat suit to hold her and cut the cord after the fact, and that was cute to watch.<br />
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The good news is that little JoJo seems completely healthy and a good size for almost 37 weeks. The bad news was that the pain meds weren't working for me, and she was born with absolutely no suckling coordination, ruining our rosy plans for breastfeeding. The lactation people basically gave up on us after a while. In the meantime, she lost so much weight that they ordered formula supplementation, which bothered me a lot, but fortunately we've been able to keep that to a minimum. We tried the sneaky supplementation tube while breastfeeding, but she quickly cottoned onto that and just sucked on the tube. We abandoned that strategy in favor of bottle feeding to save trouble for everyone, and invested in a fancy electric double pump immediately upon arriving home. It means double the time and effort, but at least we've been able to eliminate the formula and I can keep an accurate log of the volume she's getting. Yesterday she outgrew her preemie diapers, so it must be working. First pediatrician appointment is pending.<br />
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Her nickname in utero - especially during the last few months - was "the Lump," and I had no idea how appropriate it would be. I have never encountered a baby who was so laid back. If she isn't eating or pooping, she's sleeping. She's pretty much been asleep since they pulled her out. They tell me part of that is just her trying to catch up to full-term babies, and we're certainly enjoying the quiet. She sleeps through the dog barking, the vacuum, the veggie juicer, TV, loud music, whatever. Waking her up for feedings and keeping her awake long enough to finish a bottle (five minutes?) is the toughest job we have at the moment. I think she'd just continue sleeping and starving if the appropriate milk volume wasn't made so easy to access. I'm hoping in a few weeks she'll be more alert and able to maintain an interest long enough to work on a decent latch, but we'll see how that goes. The only time she doesn't sleep is when it is dark and quiet, when the rest of us want to sleep. We're working though a list of proposed solutions to that problem.<br />
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I'm still having a tough time recovering from the surgery, but otherwise life is pretty good. Right now Dave is reading "The Hobbit" to her while she's sleeping. Yep, still sleeping.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-34645723714652328362015-01-12T08:26:00.000-05:002015-01-12T08:26:40.138-05:0027 Weeks and ClosingI realized yesterday that we only have nine weeks left. We've been doing lots of things we don't usually do, like preparing a nursery, but the part of my brain that deals with emotional perception hasn't caught on just yet. I've been tidying up the extra room; I do that all the time. I've been building furniture; I do that all the time. I've been painting walls; I do that all the time. I've been painting and decoupaging decorative canvases; I do that all the time. I'm used to pregnancy being a sort of incidental bodily function that eventually resolves itself and disappears without any long-term consequences. Eventually it will seem real, but in the meantime there's lots of puttering around to do.<br />
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I'm still going in every week for a progesterone injection, and every two weeks now I have to get my cervix looked at just to be sure nothing untoward is happening. So far, so good. JoJo apparently weighs 2+ pounds and is right on target.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-8852885230975780422015-01-03T12:00:00.000-05:002015-01-03T12:00:44.338-05:00Habemus New Car!For some reason, we always end up shopping for new cars in January, and with no time to lose. Our old trusty rusty 2009 Hyundai Elantra's mishap on Christmas Eve apparently resulted in so much structural damage that it was declared a total loss. It was almost a death in the family; it was my first car, it drove me to Georgia for our wedding, shipped out to California with us, then drove us back to the east coast. RIP, little car.<br />
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Fortunately, USAA is giving us the full retail Blue Book value, which is just short of $10,000. With this knowledge, enough cash for a decent down payment and a rental which needs to be returned very soon, we trotted off to Carmax and proceeded to shop like we always do, like the entire lot is on fire.<br />
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We had some possibilities in mind. We found several candidates online this morning, including two 2009 Hyundai Elantras with lower mileage. One was white, and we almost wanted to get it just to make Gandalf jokes. But neither of them was actually on the lot we were visiting. We had almost decided to settle for an unfortunately painted powder blue
one, but it turned out to be manual, and we're strictly automatic
people. The first one we looked at in the flesh turned out to be a rather drab and disappointing white 2009 Hyundai Accent with no radio and old-fashioned crank windows. We weren't set on a Hyundai, but the selection was what it was. We were about to go look at some Kias, but then we saw it. Across the lane was a beautiful black 2012 Hyundai Accent, the exact car we had originally set out to buy new three Januaries ago.<br />
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It was love at first sight. We had to go a bit over budget, but we didn't care at that point. We were driving away with it, and that was the end of it. Turns out it was a fleet car in its previous life, half as old and half as well-traveled as Dave's old car. I always felt just a teensy bit bad for sniping the new car out from under him back in 2012 when we bought the new Elantra, so now it's his turn to have the spiffy new wheels. And now we have a very fashionable complementary black and white set of 2012 Hyundais. </div>
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-11797694850448852992014-12-26T09:54:00.000-05:002014-12-26T09:56:37.267-05:00Uncharted TerritoryWe have finally made it past 24.5 weeks, which is as far as we've ever been. Everything still seems to be going well so long as I show up for my progesterone shot each week. I've actually been brave enough to decorate what will hopefully be the nursery with a coat of paint and some wall hangings. I was able to use a lot of stuff we had already and some basic supplies from the craft hoard, so the whole room was done over for just an additional $47. Johanna will be a thrift store baby, for sure, but that doesn't mean she can't have nice things.<br />
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A good Christmas was had by all, but unfortunately the most outstanding gift we received was a rear-ender fender bender on Christmas Eve from a woman who doesn't believe in stopping before a right on red. We're hoping to get Dave in a rental before work starts next week. That poor little car has had its butt crunched too many times.<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-89379211923000920132014-11-11T12:20:00.000-05:002014-12-03T05:34:50.149-05:00Gift Registries and Other UpdatesIn response to popular demand, and the need for more detailed guidelines than "not pink," we have created a few baby gift registries. They are by no means the be-all-end-all lists of what we want or need, but they're a start. If somebody finds a cute outfit at the thrift store and washes it a few times, that's cool too. But we really do love the Burt's Bees stuff.<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.burtsbeesbaby.com/" target="_blank">Burt's Bees Baby</a></li>
<li>Amazon</li>
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In other news, we had the 18-20 week ultrasound at the hospital last week. Everything still looks good, but they want to follow up in a month to look at whatever they didn't get a good enough look at the last time. My blood pressure is in question, so I've been monitoring that at home in addition to a delightful 24-hour pee test and blood panel. Results to follow. Getting the progesterone injection has been a bit of a bureaucratic nightmare involving second-party distributers, third-party pharmacies, lost paperwork, and lots of waiting on hold over the phone. I think we finally have all the bugs worked out, and I'm supposed to go in for a shot in the butt every week for the duration. Cervix still looks good; we have another ultrasound this week to check it again. Blood pressure follow-up is next week. If our insurance didn't cover all this, we might well have been tapped out by March.</div>
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I'm told they usually deliver people in my circumstances around 36 weeks, which would be the week of March 15, the dog's birthday. I'm seeing some very cute birthday snapshots in our future.</div>
Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-85296832652059621222014-10-30T17:51:00.000-04:002014-10-30T17:51:19.336-04:00Johanna<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our 16.5 week ultrasound today promoted "Baby Julian" (aka "Baby #5") to Baby Johanna. I'm happy; Dave is understandably a little disappointed, but he'll be over it in about two minutes. It's made it a little bit more real for me. Up to this point, I haven't had a chance to feel pregnant; I've felt like I have a strange degenerative syndrome. <br />
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Nothing appears to be seriously abnormal, so thank goodness for that. My cervix is behaving itself so far, but they want to see me again in two weeks just to make sure it stays that way. The progesterone seems to be doing its job effectively.<br />
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Oh, and this time I have placenta previa. If it had to be something, it might as well have been that, because it doesn't change our plans at all. We were already definitely having a caesarian because of the classical incision they did on me before, so another reason labor could be life-threatening is purely academic. <br />
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Here's hoping for the best. Just once, please.<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-19422508489867665952014-10-16T10:52:00.000-04:002014-10-16T10:52:07.385-04:00Thoroughly DisenchantedI used to imagine I would enjoy pregnancy. I was going to scrupulously take my vitamins and eat lots of wholesome fruit and veggies. It was going to be fun and exciting.<br />
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Well, I officially hate it. It has been nothing but miserable and traumatic ALL FIVE TIMES. I thought the worst was finally over, but we had a spectacular relapse on Tuesday, and I've been vomiting six times daily ever since. I essentially starved until noon yesterday just to make it stop, and it seems like today will be the same. I try to take my vitamins, but they tend to make me sick. Food makes me sick, water makes me sick, being hungry and thirsty makes me sick. All things being equal, I'd rather vomit on an empty stomach than otherwise, so I just don't eat or drink at all. Fruit makes me sick. Vegetables make me sick. Juice makes me sick. The smell of my shampoo makes me sick. Showers make me sick, but not showering also makes me sick. Brushing my teeth makes me sick. My own pulse makes me sick. The only thing that seems to stay down is salty corn puffs, but they give me high blood pressure, which is also undesirable. There is no winning.<br />
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I did not sign up for this. I was willing to be sliced and diced and stapled back together again. I was willing to risk miscarriage and uterine rupture. I was willing to be fussed over and violated by extra tests and shots and whatnot. I was NOT willing to be desperately sick for three to six months. The plan was that the Zofran would work and I would be semi-independent and at least able to eat properly. That failed spectacularly, so now I am essentially a shut-in. I'm lucky if I get off the couch. The dog has started giving me long earnest looks, wondering if napping all day and going to bed early is going to be the rest of our lives. I can barely make my own food, and now even that seems like a wasted effort. If I am going out, especially to church, I have to starve myself first so that I know any vomit that happens can fit into a paper cup I keep in my purse. The only thing that can make this situation any worse is the onset of autumn hay fever, which occasionally gives me chronic bloody nose, and always makes vomiting a truly epic experience of sinus pressure. I'd be chugging liquid Tylenol to cope with the headaches if I thought I could keep it down. <br />
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I know other women have it worse than I do, and I've heard of some risking liver and kidney failure just to have children. More power to them, but I am done. I hate going to bed at night, and I hate waking up in the morning. If I could finish this experience in an induced coma, I would. Once this kid is out, one way or another, I hope to never, ever, ever, EVER experience this misery again.<br />
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Pardon me, I feel like I have to go throw up.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-69742612658410947532014-10-13T09:39:00.001-04:002014-10-13T09:41:56.304-04:00Too Stinkin' CuteThis really made my day. Such adorable little yummy sounds! :D<br />
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<br />Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-83405972846232539552014-10-01T10:23:00.000-04:002014-10-01T10:23:59.998-04:00Transitions and PrecautionsTwelve and a half weeks now, for real. Next obgyn appointment is on Monday, and I'm going to have to make a case for a new progesterone prescription. Had the Little Dave debacle not happened, they would be taking me off the hormones now, but I'm not interested in just waiting around for my cervix to crap out on me again. I think we have a pretty strong case, but I'm prepared to make a scene if I have to.<br />
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In the meantime, I'm completely paranoid about birth defects, so I've made an effort to eliminate as many toxins from the environment as possible. We use all-natural laundry soap, and we've replaced all fabric softeners and dryer sheets with wool yarn balls. We can't afford to go completely organic, but anything we can do to better the odds seems worthwhile. Natural dish soap and dishwasher detergent, organic vitamins, filtered water, toxin-free shampoo and shower soap. My favorite body bar is Zum Bar goat's milk soap; tried my new tangerine citrus bar and it was like showering with a creamsicle. No unnecessary medication, though it's been difficult to stay off my antihistamines now that the itchy season is upon us. Mainstream makeup and nail polish are strictly verboten. We've gotten rid of all our teflon cookware, and we've never owned a microwave. I think that covers most bases, or is at least a start. Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274425187060062853.post-37599384741933687362014-09-19T11:46:00.000-04:002014-09-19T11:46:30.480-04:00Good News and a DemotionWent for an ultrasound today, and everything looks good so far. But, as I suspected, our count was two-weeks off, so technically we're only at 10 weeks. Blarg. It seems like I'll be trapped in the first trimester forever.Conquistadorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578730646460628620noreply@blogger.com0