Crisis of Faith

I am not having one, but I don't seem to be much help to those people who are.  That makes me incredibly restless and itchy, so this is just an outlet for the maelstrom of disjointed thoughts swirling around in my head.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have never had a crisis of faith.  Maybe it's my phlegmatic nature, but working on the assumption that Catholicism is indeed the one true faith informed by a just, omnipotent and omniscient God, I assume that there is a reasonable answer for every question, and we can find it if we look hard enough.  Likewise, whatever crap happens to me in the life must have an equally compelling reason, and it isn't necessary for me to know.  That is not part of my job to work out.  That is why I am not God.

Many times the first thing I hear is the tired old question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  It just saps the life out of me, because it has been asked and answered so many times before.  Deep down, it's usually a case of the tough getting going when the going got tough.  They hadn't really thought about it before and went through life on spiritual cruise control until suddenly something horrible happened in their lives, and now they have to reinvent the theological wheel.  Their prayers weren't answered to their satisfaction; God wasn't there for them; they didn't get their miracle.  Clearly God isn't worth their time.

What helped me most during the dark times was putting things in perspective.  The worst suffering in our lives is probably peanuts compared to the suffering of someone else.  There is always someone with a more compelling tragedy.  Getting pissy and angry with God is completely pointless, because He is the best and sometimes only comfort.  The crucifixion should be reminder enough.

"But now I'm thinking for myself," they say.  Are they really thinking, or are they just angry and feeling sorry for themselves?  I congratulate them if they are able to intuit what we have gained over thousands of years of collective study.  They come to the prideful conclusion that they don't have to take this supposed abuse from a tyrannical deity, that they are taking a stand for the little man, a stand against all the injustice of the world.

Even if God was an arbitrary tyrant, what would this little hunger strike accomplish?  He doesn't need our approval of His management of the universe.  Deciding to ignore Him doesn't make Him go away.  If we are angry enough to deny His existence, who are we angry at now?  If we acknowledge His existence but don't like Him, we can either just come to terms with Him because there is no getting around it, or we can invent the God we like and live a happy fantasy.

There are some hard questions which must be asked.  Are we rejecting everything we ever thought we knew and believed about God because we suddenly know better, or because we are angry and emotional?  Are we too proud to admit we were wrong?  Are we getting some perverse enjoyment out of the mistaken romance of our own "Non serviam," or the feeling of self-righteous victimhood?  Are we just too lazy to give the matter serious thought anymore?

In any case, imagining God to be a capricious abuser who enjoys inflicting suffering on us, that the crucifixion was no more than a case of divine one-upmanship to stem the tide of human complaints, must be a very bitter and lonely place to be.

There is no need to stay there.

Deliver Us From Evil, the Book

I've finished reading "Beware the Night," by Ralph Sarchie and Lisa Collier Cool, now retitled "Deliver Us From Evil" after the movie.  Despite the major players being generally sedevacantist, sedeprivationist, or sedesomething else, it is a very good read.  If I had any complaint, it was that the main story is constantly derailed by related anecdotes, but these anecdotes are equally interesting, so I'm inclined to just forgive it and move on.  By the time you finish the book, you're less inclined to waste time arguing niggling points about papal authority and would rather just get on with arranging to have your house blessed.

After reading Gabriel Amorth, Malachi Martin, and Matt Baglio, there were still some new and interesting observations to take away from Ralph Sarchie's experiences.  Here are some highlights.

• Halloween is no joke.  The negative spiritual character if late October and early November existed long before the holiday.  That's why it's Halloween.  The tradition of costuming evolved as a means to possibly avoid possession by remaining incognito while the demons were roaming.  Even now, Mr. Sarchie has observed a dramatic surge in new cases during this season.
• Another especially bad time is Christmas.  There seems to be a demonic rampage every year around the birth of Christ.
• Only the most powerful spirits, called the true devils, can manipulate sacred objects.
• Demons often masquerade as ghosts or human spirits.  However, when demonic apparitions attempt to appear human, there is always something wrong.  Limbs or the face may be missing, or there may be some other distortion.  If you encounter an allegedly sympathetic spirit who exists only from the waist up, be very suspicious.
• Incubi and succubi do happen.  Yikes.
• Mr. Sarchie has observed three different varieties of demonic approach.  There are the "intellectuals," who approach a target with what may seem to be deep insights, religious experiences, and secret knowledge.  The "con artists" attempt to pass themselves off as human ghosts with sympathetic stories to engage their victims.  The "brutes" are more bestial and cause clawing, growling, and biting behaviors in possession.
• If anyone needed the advice, don't rent your basement to Satanists. 

Also, we're also actually not supposed to talk about this too much because recognition could draw the demon to you.  However, if we don't talk about it at all, it's not as if they'll all just go home to Hell and leave us alone.  Best to be aware, I say.  We are seriously looking into having a priest over to bless our apartment thoroughly, and while he's here were going to have him bless all the religious articles we've been collecting over the years, and that canister of sea salt from Monterey.  We'll try to always have holy water, oil and salt on hand from now on.  It's really the least we can do.

Deliver Us From Evil

We went to see this movie last week.  It was pretty good.  More interesting to me is the fifteen-minute documentary on YouTube about the man who inspired the movie.  It's not unhealthy to be reminded now and again on the demonic forces all around us.  I think we might all take life more seriously if we were more aware.

There is some language; be ye warned.

Oh, Ralph Sarchie has also written a book, "Beware the Night," which I intend to read just as soon as it drops on our doorstep.

New Stuff in the Store!

I've updated the Etsy store with some fresh selections once again.  Seriously, tell your friends.  :)

Three Years and Counting

It really seems like we've been married longer than three years.  And I mean that in the best possible way, just in case anyone was wondering.  Hopefully we can let the good times roll for a long time yet.

We've never really made a big deal out of our anniversary in the past.  The first year we went out to Chili's at the spur of the moment, but I was too down and out with morning (all day?) sickness to eat more than chips and salsa.  The second year we went out to P. F. Chang's with a gift card we got for Christmas.  This year we're having chocolate cake at home.  There are some vaporous plans to go see The Hobbit sometime, or maybe go to the next town for an extended weekend vacation, but we'll see how the scheduling works out.  I promised Dave a new laptop; his is limping severely, but he has his heart set on Alienware, so it might take a few months to save up enough expendable $$$.  He was complaining that he never knows what to get me, and I never ask for expensive things.

Well, I just found something I simply must have.  I know the second anniversary is supposed to be the paper one, but we'll just have to bend the rules a bit.  Besides, everybody needs a calendar.

A Different Kind of Bridal Party

Sometimes the vast sums of money spent on weddings these days can be absurd.  Admittedly, our wedding day can be one of the most important of our lives, but it isn't the caterers or the string quartet or the expensive venue or the limousine that makes it special.  Family and friends make it special.

In that light, we're pleased to highlight a cause that we think is well worth the money.  My husband's college roommate and best friend has been asked by his sister to walk her down the aisle and give her away at the altar as she takes her religious vows in Florence, Italy.  She will be joining the Sisters Adorers Of the Royal Heart of Jesus, the female branch of the Institute of Christ the King.  What this world needs are more habit-wearing nuns, seriously.  

Please consider donating if some of your charitable budget hasn't yet been earmarked.  We're talking about a great little Catholic family with a couple of kids and no realistic hope of dredging up a spare $2000 for trans-Atlantic travel on their own.  Even a little can go a long way.  Thanks!

"Help Me See My Sister Become a Nun!"

Loud and Clear

Most of the time, messages from God can be generally vague and extrapolated from the resources provided for that purpose (Scripture, homilies, etc.).  We expect them to be mostly about living good Christian lives and that ongoing struggle that is increasing in virtue.  But sometimes, divine guidance can be very blunt, extremely specific, and about seemingly the most mundane things.

A few days ago, a friend of mine (he knows who he is) shared this inspirational meme on Facebook.

Of all the things I've been dreaming of doing, those Krav Maga classes I've been talking about for months jumped to mind.  I can procrastinate like no other, and I usually invent a string of excuses.  It probably costs too much, I'm too busy right now, I need to get in shape first, etc.

I've always wanted to take some kind of martial arts class, but frankly I've been too intimidated to actually take the plunge.  There's a Krav Maga studio right here in the neighborhood, so we can't beat it for convenience.  We have no kids to work around, and it's extremely unlikely that I'll be pregnant anytime soon.  I probably have more free time now than I ever will again.  Add to that, I now have a part time job that should cover the expenses.  As frustrating as these months alone can be while Dave is deployed, I'm feeling driven to find a semi-violent physical outlet.  Really, nothing is stopping me but me.

I was still thinking about it this morning, and puzzling out the details before Mass started.  I was sitting in my favorite section of my favorite pew, and just couldn't get it out of my mind.  I was so intent on it in fact, that it took me a while to notice that the church had shiny new hymnals in all the pews.  How nice.  As we all stood for the processional, I flipped open the one in front of me, and saw the dedication on the book plate inside the cover.

Generously donated by 

Krav Maga - Maryland

Are you serious?

Okay.  I'll pick up a class schedule tomorrow.

How Appropriate

I need this on a throw pillow or something.

For All Saints and All Souls

Here's another quick musical tidbit.  During my morning prayers a few days ago I was mentally regretting that I didn't have any music that could remind me of the kids without reducing me to tears.  My Pandora station spit this out.  Who says God doesn't use the Internet?

Practical Tips

File this away under things you never knew you needed to know.  In the unlikely event that you are ever the victim of a spell or hex, there is a protocol governing the discovery and disposal of the malefice responsible.  Several hard-working exorcists have developed these guidelines through some painful trail and error, so it's advice worth taking.

First of all, the three most useful substances to have on hand in any hairy situation are exorcized (or at least blessed) water, exorcised olive oil, and exorcised salt.  All three are efficacious in their symbolic ability to cleanse and heal body and soul.  The water is particularly useful in cleansing objects or spaces, the oil in ridding an afflicted individual of impurities or foreign objects which may need to be coughed up, and the salt in protecting places from evil influences (such as in cases of infestation).  Used in faith, these can apparently be remarkably powerful.

In the (unlikely but not impossible) event that you discover a strange object you believe to be the root of a curse, there are a few key things to remember.  These objects can be braided or knotted cords, colored string, figurines, bones, small animals, rocks, wire, or really anything.  What makes them suspicious is that they can appear where you least expect them, like inside your clothes, mattresses, pillows, or food.

• DO NOT TOUCH these things with your bare hands.  Chronic illness has been known to occur as a result.  
• The objects must first be sprinkled with holy water, then burned in a well-ventilated space (preferably outdoors), and the ashes disposed of in running water.  You may skip the burning if the object isn't flammable.
• Not all running water is created equal.  DO NOT attempt to dispose of anything in your plumbing, at least not unless you want to take advantage of your flood insurance.  A storm drain is a better choice.
• During the whole procedure, it is best that everyone present pray constantly.

Unfortunately, this also applies to that pillow or mattress which might have yielded the object in question.  Your neighbors will think you're crazy, and you might get a public citation, but this is the tried and true method.

Again, read this book. 

The Dangers of Magic

(After a few distractions, we're back to our regularly scheduled October series.)

I'm not talking about stage magic.  We're talking about witchcraft, curses and hexes.  Yes, they're real, and all demonic in origin.  This was truly frightening to me, because I never would have imagined it was possible.  Apparently, like all demonic activity, it's just another way God honors our free will and provides occasion for grace.

Father Amorth defines a curse as "harming others through demonic intervention."  He considers spells and witchcraft to be two different kinds of curses.  Seriously, this is not some innocent pastime for adolescent girls.  People get hurt doing this.  "Those who practice any sort of magic believe they can manipulate superior powers," he says, "but in reality it is they who are manipulated."

Naturally Father Amorth is most familiar with his native Italy, where a robust tradition of sorcery and spiritualism still survives.  In this context, his vocal opposition to the Harry Potter franchise is understandable.  "When curses are spoken with true perfidy," he says, "especially if there is a blood relationship between the one who cast them and the accursed, the outcome can be terrible.  The most common instances that I have encountered involved parents or grandparents who called down evil upon children or grandchildren.  The most serious consequences occur when the evil wish is against someone's life or when it is pronounced on a special occasion, such as a wedding.  The authority and the bonds that tie parents to their children are stronger than any other person's."  These curses apparently do not die with the ones who cast them, and can be frighteningly effective despite blessings, exorcism and prayer.

A spell may also be known as a malefice or a hex, and involves brining evil upon someone by means of a physical object, a kind of anti-sacramental.  Direct application involves the victim ingesting the cursed object, which according to Father Amorth, can be made of almost anything: "it can be menstrual blood; bones of dead people; various burned powders, mostly black; animal parts -- the heart seems to be the favorite; peculiar herbs; and so on.  But the evil efficacy is not so much in the material used as in the will to harm through demonic intervention."  Not surprisingly, one of the first symptoms of a spell of this kind are stomach pains which only improve when the substance is expelled through vomiting or otherwise.  Indirect application involves hexing the belongings of the victim or a proxy, "dolls, puppets, animals, even real people of the same age and sex."  Remember voodoo dolls?  Apparently they actually work.  The examples he gives are rather hair-raising, but I'll let you read the book for yourself.

Despite all this, he cautions that true hexes are still rare.  Although he has personally dealt with several, he has seen still more cases which had legitimate psychological explanations.  Sometimes curses fail, through the inexperience of the sorcerer, the prayer life of the intended victim, or the intervention of God.  "It would be a most grave error to live in fear of falling victim to a hex," he says.  Still, neither is it a good idea to completely deny their existence.

He describes witchcraft at length, which covers a broader range of activities than just spells and hexes.  Even when used for the most mundane and apparently innocuous personal purposes, witchcraft and genuine magic are always interaction with Satan and always come with harmful side effects.  In 2002, our neighbors' teenage daughter told me and my sister that she had been practicing witchcraft in her spare time, and had recently managed to open a door without touching it.  Later she complained of seeing a man in black at the foot of her bed at night.  Naturally I can't verify any of it, but it may be a useful case in point.

The moral of the story?  Witches aren't funny.  Dress your kids up as saints, for pity's sake.

And read this book.  (But not late at night.)

Concerning Psychics

Now this is a word most traditional Catholics have a strong reaction against.  If not completely bogus, we are under the impression that all activities of psychics and mediums are strictly forbidden by Church teaching.

This is almost true, and really depends on what we mean by "psychic."  Perhaps we would be more comfortable with "clairvoyant" or "mystic."  The issue is not the ability, but the source of the ability and our attitude towards it.

In a nutshell, genuine psychic individuals are either gifted with a special charism or paranormal talent by God, or have purchased forbidden powers from Satan.  Those who are trying especially hard to become psychic risk falling into the latter category, which is no laughing matter.  

Father Amorth claims to often make use of people he calls "seers" and "sensitives" during his exorcisms.  They can be useful in identifying evil presences, curses, hexes, and in revealing their causes.  He also cautions that these feelings are not always 100% accurate and must be thoroughly investigated.  

Because of the proliferation of suspect spiritualists at large, Father Amorth offers some criteria for identifying the good ones in An Exorcist Tells His Story.

"I would like to suggest four guidelines for determining the presence of true charisms.  (1) The individual or the community lives the Gospel in a profound way.  (2) The individual or the community performs the services completely free -- not even accepting donations, as through these it is easy to become wealthy.  (3) The practices used must be common means to obtain grace approved by the Church, avoiding unusual or superstitious actions.  For instance, they must not use 'magic' formulas but prayers, the Sign of the Cross and imposition of hands, and nothing that could offend modesty.  They should avail themselves of water, incense, and relics and avoid anything that is extraneous to the normal ecclesiastical use.  They should pray in the name of Jesus.  (4) The fruits must be good.  This is an evangelical rule that sums up all the other rules, 'the tree is known by its fruit' (Mt 12:33). . . .

"I will say that the seers and sensitives I have chosen to consult -- among the many that I have been offered as such -- have all been very prayerful individuals, rich in goodness and charity, and especially very humble.  If I had not discovered them by chance or because someone informed me of their talents, they would never have told me.  What are these talents?  Charisms?  Paranormal abilities?  I tend to believe that it is a paranormal gift that the person uses to serve others.  I do not exclude that it can be a charism.  I have never noticed in these people any sign of tiredness or loss of strength.  I have witnessed a gradual strengthening of these gifts through their use; this leads me to believe that we are faced with paranormal talents.  I will add that it is very difficult to find true seers or sensitives.  On the other hand, there are a multitude of people who believe they have and are reputed to have these gifts.  We need to be very careful."

Obviously, trying to contact the dead is still very much out of the question.  And like all extraordinary gifts and graces, being "psychic" is not something anyone should go clamoring after.  So don't even think about sending an application to any of those psychic schools or spiritual colleges popping up everywhere.

Ghosts, Part I

"We're Catholic; we don't believe in ghosts."

We've all heard it.  We might have even said it.  As Catholics, we do focus rather a lot on the minutia of the Four Last Things, insisting on categorizing and defining everything about them we possibly can.  Consequently, while we certainly believe in the existence of disembodied spirits, we like to think they are all neatly organized into their various compartments, Heaven, Hell and Purgatory.  But are they?

We know that demons "prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls," in the words of the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.  I remember a question raised in our theology class about the nature of Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory, namely whether they were physical places with boundaries outside this world or instead simply different states of being -- within the beatific vision, permanently deprived of the beatific vision, and temporarily deprived of the beatific vision.  I'm not qualified to make any conclusion and hope to do more research on the topic.  More on that later.

When someone today says, "My house is haunted," it sounds a little sketchy to those of us who have been conditioned to dismiss ghost stories.  But all he's really saying is that there is a spirit of some description loose in his home, which isn't so far-fetched.  Our friends and neighbors on the secular side of the fence are simply observing things the Church has recognized all along.

If you ask your average ghost hunter or paranormal enthusiast to describe different kinds of hauntings, you'll likely be told they come in two varieties, intelligent and residual.  Those of the intelligent variety are either benign or malignant.  For now we'll just consider the malignant ones, which are certainly the most urgent cases, and also the ones most thoroughly addressed in Catholic tradition.

Demons are most often responsible for malignant "hauntings."  Quite possibly they are always responsible.  There is apparently still a great deal of debate among exorcists and theologians as to whether damned souls can participate in demonic activities such as possessions and infestations.  The evidence would suggest that they can, but that evidence generally comes from the mouth of a victim of possession during exorcism, rendering it essentially useless.  The Devil is a liar, after all.

(I'm assuming, of course, that we all believe in Satan.  Contrary to popular belief, he was not suddenly done to death in the 1960s by the advances of modern science.)

The Devil acts in the world in a number of ways, ordinarily by temptation to sin, experienced on a daily basis by every human being since the dawn of time.  He also engages in a number of extraordinary activities which, like all things Catholic, have sophisticated names.

• "Infestation" refers to demonic activity associated with places or things.  Catholics are more likely to give credence to a haunted house if it is instead called a case of demonic infestation.  The classic symptoms include everything on a ghost hunter's list: footsteps, bangs, voices, growls, cold spots, objects being moved or thrown, the feeling of being watched, strange smells and odors, power outages and surges, moving doors and windows.  Pets often respond negatively to a demonic presence in the home.
• "Oppression" refers to any physical action or harm done by a demon, including beatings, scratches, pushing people out of bed or down stairs.  Many saints have experienced this.  Demonic oppression can also include the sabotage of the victim's work, health, or relationships.  The Book of Job in the Old Testament is a prime example.
• "Obsession" is a kind of super-temptation, a mental attack which takes the form of an unnatural fixation or obsession, hence the name.  Italian exorcist Father Francesco Bamonte, quoted by Matt Baglio, says, "Some are thoughts and impulses that urge people to harm others; some make people think that only a pact with Satan can get them out of their troubles or bring them success; some are thoughts to profane the Eucharist; others are thoughts to drive one to suicide."  Obsession can also cause nightmares.
• "Possession."  This is the one everybody knows about.  It's more common than most people think, but the rarest kind of extraordinary demonic activity.  I'll devote a whole post to this topic later.

With this background, those paranormal reality shows start to make more sense.  Don't laugh; it can be quite telling to see what the uncatechized have to say about the phenomena they witness.  My recent favorite is The Haunted by Animal Planet, a series of biographical sketches of families and their pets and the hauntings they encountered.  Once you get past all the sound effects and the sensational editing, at least half of them seem to be describing textbook cases of demonic infestation, oppression and obsession.  Some episodes include legitimate house blessings and exorcisms performed by Fr. Bob Bailey of St. Maria Goretti Parish in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.  Fr. Bob has apparently become the go-to priest for the mainstream paranormal scene, allegedly with the permission of his bishop.  

A generalized profile of an infested house is as follows.  There is usually an initial cause of the infestation, some involvement in the occult or hardened habitual sin.  This may predate the family currently in residence.  Many people describe an oppressive atmosphere in the home.  Small, inexplicable things happen: instruments play, doors open and close, objects move, pictures fall from the walls.  Pets become skittish, stressed, fearful, aggressive or overly protective.  Dogs fixate and bark at nothing.  Members of the family may see shadows or hear noises at night.  Some may have chronic nightmares.  There may be inexplicable temperature fluctuations.  In extreme cases, people claim to hear voices or see large black shapes, usually with red eyes, in the closet or in corners of the room or at the foot of the bed.  Members of the family may become severely depressed, have obsessive thoughts of suicide, or even attempt suicide.  Their condition may improve, however, when they are removed from the house.  The relationship between family members often becomes strained; disproportionate fights and arguments occur regularly for little or no reason.  This also can improve when the family leaves the house.  In cases in which the infestation predates the family in residence, some research into the history of the home may reveal other suicides.  Any one of these things might be explained away, but taken together they generally spell trouble.

If this sounds like your house, or a friend's house, schedule a house blessing as soon as possible.  Not just the holy water blessing, but the salt-throwing kind.  Father Amorth strongly recommends having blessed and/or exorcised water, olive oil and salt on hand in the home at all times.

Source Material

These are my two primary sources, An Exorcist Tells His Story by Gabriele Amorth (one of the leading exorcists in Rome), and The Making of a Modern Exorcist by Matt Baglio, both of which I highly recommend.  There is a bit of overlap, as Mr. Baglio also uses Father Amorth as a source.  Other books I've read on the subject include More Stories by Father Amorth, and Hostage to the Devil by Malachi Martin.  Hopefully I can broaden my library soon.

Stubborn Realities

"It's not real."

I remember hearing that explanation quite often when I was a kid.  Ghosts aren't real.  Witches aren't real.  Magic isn't real.  Spells aren't real.  Curses aren't real.  Don't worry, it can't hurt you because it doesn't exist.  My mother was very firm and practical about it, and I was satisfied with that.  After all, if we had a choice, most of us would prefer to live in a world in which dark spiritual complications don't exist.  Unfortunately, I've been doing a bit of research over the past few years, and guess what . . .

It's all real.

Growing up in a Catholic home, we never questioned the existence of Satan.  Demons were simply a fact of life, as were angels, heaven, hell, and purgatory.  That, however, was the extent of our awareness of the spiritual world.  To some degree we felt, like the rest of the modern population, that we lived in a rational scientific world in which things like witchcraft were at worst a pathetic waste of time.  Now, as I read the accounts of respected modern exorcists who deal with preternatural phenomena on a regular basis, I'm discovering that some of those things we dismissed in our childhood are actually very real and can be very dangerous.

But, before anybody decides to sleep with the lights on, rest assured the Catholic Church has an answer for all these problems.  Some people would prefer not to know about any of this for their own peace of mind, but ignorance is no protection.  I would rather be informed and have a plan of action before I am ever confronted by something the exterminator can't explain away.  Forewarned is forearmed, after all.

October is here.  That usually means people are picking out their pumpkins and fussing over children's costumes.  With Halloween and All Souls Day just around the corner, there's no time like the present to consider some of these spiritual realities which can be all too easy to ignore or forget.  I'll be posting about them all month.

Fifty Shades Too Many

It's alarming how popular these books are.  Alarming, but not really surprising.

I'll have to admit my comments will largely qualify as an uninformed opinion, because I refuse to read it.  I ventured a cautious peek in the bookstore just because I was morbidly curious. Not only is it porn, as far as I could tell it's poorly written porn.  And it's a runaway success?

I'm not 100% against sex in novels.  It happens between characters and is often integral to the plot, but there are artful ways to imply it, gloss over it, etc.  It's about knowing what to describe and when to cut the scene.  If the book is so much about sex that there is no other plot, it doesn't have much chance of being an edifying read.  In short, the wild popularity of books like "Fifty Shades of Grey" are disturbing to me as a Catholic and insulting to me as a writer.

Fortunately, the Church is prepared for these kinds of things.  I'm pretty sure they didn't have pulp fiction in mind when they wrote this prayer, but it will do just fine.

A PRAYER FOR THE PRINTING OF GOOD BOOKS 

O glorious Apostle of the Gentiles, Saint Paul, who with such zeal didst busy thyself in destroying at Ephesus those books which thou knewest well would have perverted the minds of the faithful: turn upon us thy gracious eyes also at this present day.  Thou seest how an unbelieving and licentious press is attempting to rob our hearts of the precious treasure of faith and spotless morals.  enlighten, we beseech Thee, O holy Apostle, the minds of so many perverted writers, that they may cease once for all to do harm to souls with their evil doctrines and lying insinuations; move their hearts to hate the evil that they have done and are doing to the chosen flock of Jesus Christ.  For us, too, obtain the grace of being ever docile to the voice of the Supreme Pontiff, that we may never allow ourselves to indulge in the reading of bad books, but may seek instead to read and, so far as it is given to us, to diffuse those books which by their salutary doctrine shall assist all of us to promote the greater glory of God, the exaltation of His Church and the salvation of souls.  Amen. 

Prayer Fatigue

When I was growing up, my family said the rosary on a semi-regular basis.  When we started taking our faith more seriously, we began saying the rosary more often.  First daily, then three times daily, and inevitably when the new mysteries were added, four times daily.  Our homeschooling house started to resemble something like a domestic convent.

That isn't necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, it was my siblings and I who insisted that we add the Luminous Mysteries to our routine.  However, an excess of prayer without an excess of piety can make the mind wander.  Cue the robot voices.  (Have you ever tried to pray the rosary with another family?  Everybody's rhythm gets messed up.)

When I left home for college, suddenly there was no one making me stop and say the rosary at regular intervals everyday, and I quickly fell out of the habit.  I've been trying to take it up again recently, but it's been difficult.  The whole point of the rosary is that the repetition is conducive to meditation, but unfortunately I find myself meditating more about my grocery list than about the life of Christ.  I have to make myself sit down and do it because it seems like such a chore.  It's my fault for not praying it properly, but I can't seem to focus for more than two Hail Mary's.  When friends or family suggest, "Hey, let's say the rosary!" my first thought is unfortunately, "No, not again!"  I think I'm suffering from rosary burnout.

My prayer life in general really hasn't been great these past years.  Between not wanting to pray the rosary and dealing with all the emotional drama, I settled into a numb resignation to what was apparently the will of God.  All my prayers were reduced to simply praying that God's will be done, which seemed a little superfluous after a while.  Surely God would do His will regardless.

It deteriorated to the point that we were Catholics on Sunday, and living what my husband would call "the life of the virtuous pagan" during the week.  It was time for a change of approach.  The rosary is great, but there are thousands of other devotions to chose from.  We instituted a designated prayer time in the evenings (which we're still trying to stick to), and since neither of us can get excited about the rosary yet, we each read silently from whatever we find edifying at the moment.  My current favorite is a 1957 edition of The Raccolta we found at a second-hand book store.  The difference is night and day.

For those who are unfamiliar with it, the Raccolta is self-described as "A Manual of Indulgences (Enchiridion Indulgentiarum): Prayers and Devotions Enriched with Indulgences In Favor of All the Faithful In Christ Or of Certain Groups of Persons."  Although this edition is apparently long out of date and many of the indulgences no longer apply, it's still a treasury of some incredible prayers for every occasion (with the official Latin versions).  My prayer life is three-dimensional again.

The "Soggy Fish Sandwich" Theory

I know it's been around for a long time, but I've never actually heard it at my church before.  After a long trial period at this parish, we finally heard heresy from the pulpit, or rather from the center aisle, since the priest in question doesn't seem to like preaching from the pulpit.

Father Mike didn't actually say that Jesus did not in fact multiply loaves and fishes, but he implied that "commentators" say the real miracle "might have been" inspiring the people to all share their packed lunches like good socialists.

At my family's home parish, the FSSP priest described this theory of the miracle as Jesus simply guilting each member of the crowd into pulling out "the soggy fish sandwich" he had been carrying around in his pocket, a description which apparently originated with Fr. Benedict Groeschel.  He also went on to explain in no uncertain terms that "this is a heretical understanding of this gospel."

This episode is apparently a big deal, as it appears in all four Gospels.  Obviously a remarkable miracle occurred.  Could it really have been just about sharing?  This isn't Sesame Street.

Think about it.  The priest today apparently accepted as fact that idea that nobody would set out on a pilgrimage without packing food.  But would any of them have packed enough for more than three days in the wilderness?  Even if they did, was there any real need to share?  If each had enough food for himself, everyone would have just eaten his own food.  What's so miraculous about sitting down on a hillside and having lunch?  Would you really want to swap for someone else's tuna salad if you had your own?  Alternatively, were the people holding out for a free lunch despite having enough food?  It seems like the modernists have backed themselves into a bad Semitic stereotype if the jaw-dropping miracle in question was simply teaching Jews to share.

CB - Round-up

Can't we just accept the fact that thousands of people were in the wilderness with Jesus for several days, their food reserves had run out, and that Jesus as the omnipotent Son of God worked a miracle worth recording for posterity?  It certainly makes the most sense, and it would spare us these driveling homilies fit only for toddlers.

My Tattoo Explained

Yes, I finally got a tattoo.  The artist in me has always wanted one, but I probably wouldn't ever have actually gotten it if I hadn't gone with friends.  It isn't huge, it is discreetly placed, and it is awesome.

I chose the Santiago Cross.  I knew I wanted something Catholic, and I've been fascinated by the Santiago Cross ever since some friends and I made the cheaters' pilgrimage to Santiago de Campostela in November of 2006.  (We took a plane rather than walk.  Give us a break; we only had one weekend to spare!)  Our family history of sixteenth century conquistadors and eighteenth century Canarian colonists was all the excuse I needed to adopt this militant-looking Spanish cross.  I've been wearing it on a chain for years now.

My research into the symbolism behind it is concisely summarized by Wikipedia:

"The Cross of St. James is similar to a Cross flory fitchy and is formed by a cross flory, where the lower part is fashioned as a sword blade (rather like fitched or fitchee or fitchy) - making this a cross of a warrior. It was popularized then due to its resemblance to a sword, symbolizing in a sense taking up the sword for the name of Christ. . . . This form is said to have originated at the time of the Crusades, when the crusaders carried small crosses with pointed lower arms, capable of being thrust into the ground at a time of daily devotions."

"The insignia of the Order of Santiago is a bright red cross simulating a sword and has the shape of a fleur-de-lis on the handle and on the arms. . . . The three fleurs-de-lis represent spotless honour (an honour of having defeated an enemy without spilling blood), which makes reference to the moral characteristics of the apostle St. James.  The sword represents the knightly character of the apostle and refers his martyrdom, since he was decapitated by sword."

I have a feeling the persecution is coming, and in light of that I am perfectly happy to brand myself with a crusader's cross.  However, the tattoo process is not something I am keen to repeat.  Ouch.

4-Minute Retreat - Instrument of Peace

Something in English this time, so no distracting subtitles.  "Instrument of Peace," by the Canadian Tenors.